School Years
What homework is actually for, by age
The evidence for homework varies enormously with age, and the arguments at home usually ignore that.
Declan Rowe
Contributing writer, Things Parents Know
Declan writes about teenagers, boundaries and the art of not winning every argument.
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14 articles
Teenagers
Talking to teenagers about money before they need it
Financial habits form earlier than most parents expect, and the useful conversations are specific rather than moral.
Teenagers
A curfew works better as a lift home than as a rule
The point of a time limit is a safe route home and a known location. Both survive better as logistics than as an imposed number.
Teenagers
The alcohol and drugs conversation goes better before the party
Conversations held calmly and in advance are the only ones a teenager can actually absorb. The ones held afterwards are a…
Teenagers
Phones out of the bedroom is the rule worth spending capital on
Of all the device arguments available, this one has the clearest mechanism and the largest return. Most households spend their…
Teenagers
Low mood in teenagers: what to notice and who to tell
Ordinary adolescent moodiness and something more serious overlap enough to be genuinely hard to separate at home. General…
Teenagers
Subject choices matter less than everyone says, except in a few specific ways
Most doors stay open far longer than the assembly implied. The ones that genuinely close early are a short and identifiable list.
Teenagers
Arguing with a teenager without losing the relationship
Conflict at home rises in adolescence for structural reasons and is not evidence of a broken relationship. What it does to the…
Teenagers
Gaming is not automatically a problem, and here is what makes it one
Hours played is a poor measure of anything. What got displaced, how the game takes money, and who they are playing with tell you…
Teenagers
The closed bedroom door is a boundary, not a verdict on you
A teenager withdrawing to a room is doing something ordinary and necessary. Distinguishing that from withdrawal that matters is the…
Teenagers
The friend you do not like, and why a ban usually backfires
Forbidding a friendship reliably makes it more attractive and moves it out of sight. The alternative is slower, less satisfying and…
Teenagers
Deciding what happens after school when nobody has the answer
The decision is made at seventeen, with limited information, about a world that will have changed. Treating it as reversible is…
Teenagers
First relationships, and the parent nobody asked for an opinion
You will be told very little, and what you say about the first one is remembered for a long time. Most of the job is being useful…
Teenagers
Results day goes better if you decide the conversation in advance
Everybody knows what to say if the results are good. The version worth preparing is the other one, and it should be decided before…